Right. Well. Things seem to be heating up on the AUG scene. So I’ll do my best to throw fuel on the fire by giving a heartfelt and open southern uni perspective. Let’s start the rundown by picking a uni at random….. SYDNEY UNI!
USyd: Firstly let me say how happy I am that everyone is getting on board the “Sydney Uni are an arrogant and boring team” bandwagon. It’s good to see. The only thing these guys talk up more than their playing ability is their partying ability. Interestingly enough, one of their players had the foresight to hear the AUG drums beating not far off in the distance and waved his “lets not blow each others candles out” white flag, so as not to have to back up their claims with action. However on the field they will be a team to watch, with some interesting names returning, among them Max “Owen Shepherd who? Give me my green and gold medal” Halden, Mikey “Predator” Tarn and Petey “Princess” Liddicoat. Their girls can run too. A lot. I’m sure they will be keen to avenge last years dismal final performance which more resembled a footrace between Usain Bolt and Susan Boyle than a game of ultimate. These guys would have to be considered as contenders and if they make the final I am expecting a solid heckling performance from the crowd. I know I will not rest until I’ve been ejected by AUS for heckling, regardless of whether or not I’m playing.
UTS: When you’re led by Suj “Good Kid” Vijeyakumaar (yeah I copy/pasted his name from AFDA so what), how can you expect anything less than total success?! These guys have shown promise through the past few campaigns, but aren’t in the big leagues yet. If they continue with the development like they have over the past two years I wouldn’t be surprised to see them challenging the top teams. This of course is based on the assumption Suj sticks around. If not they’re done. The team list has a couple of names that may be difficult to commentate on after a couple of shots, but it will be fun seeing Pissy try.
Flinders: The reigning SUG and AUG champions have a decent shot at making it two in a row. I don’t believe they will as the rest of the field has matured a little bit. It will be interesting to see how they go a girl down after Emma Kiel gets put out of commission from being an insatiable trashbag boozehound before the first game. Sean Lace will no doubt be running around like a rabid little rat, as if he has something to prove to the world, sporting a game face that reminds me of Kobe’s game 6 game face (http://thesportsbrareports.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/kobes-game-face.jpg?w=300&h=226
). Brett “Sweet As” Middleton comes in, replacing Alec Deslandes who, shock horror, graduated (that’s right kids, uni is supposed to be temporary). Is the steady flow of Adelaide’s deep receivers coincidence? I think not. Word on the street is that Alec and Brett agreed to a Malthouse/Buckley style succession plan as devised by Joel “Eddie Maguire” Pillar. That connection should be worth a medal or two.
UQ: The Hawthorn FC of the AUS scene. After registering such a successful ’07 campaign, this mob couldn’t even muster up a single team to compete in ’08. As such, it is hard to respect this team, especially given the recent comments of a certain player (pipe, I dare you)! Having said that, on home soil you have to give these guys the benefit of the doubt that they’re a top 8 team. I’m not sure why they’ve listed their Physio, Piers “good for two games before I get injured” Truter on their playing list, maybe to boost numbers, but they have a couple of decent names. They should be well honed on Defence, with Alastair Don sure to give them plenty of chances to play it. Nevertheless, looking strong.
BUUF: Ah Ballarat. Out for Justice. Whilst many believe this teams’ slogan should be “Out for Draft Picks”, I’m not ready to write them off just yet. Their best seven include Dan Rule, Lachlan McDonald, Rockbeat and Jake Angelovich, all players you have to respect. They key for this team is endurance, as I’m not sure their top tier players can run out a tourney on their own bat. Their girls may be a risk too as the last game I saw, Drule threw to one of the girls, who actively ran away from the Frisbee. Watch out for the re-re-return of Simon “Mal Michael” Talbot, who has announced his retirement from competitive ultimate more times than he’s been carted off to hospital with a Saline IV stuck in his arm.
UWA: Remember Squeak “Little Bitch” Scholari from Baseketball? That’s UWA. Fun to have around but hard to take seriously, UWA have a couple of good kids that will ensure the party keeps kicking (even though I’m sure USyd will have that covered…………………..HAAHAHHA). If you play them, don’t try to beat them, just wait for them to beat themselves. Ouch. Nah they’re a bunch of good kids. Here’s hoping they can muster up a quality bunch of ladies akin to Adelaide (AUG06?). What a bunch of hotties.
Griffith: Captained by Cupcake? Don’t know, don’t care.
Newcastle: Chris Lavis is kicking goals with this team, with Ellie, Chilly and Liz Dodd providing competent backing. They weren’t contenders last year, regardless of what they thought, but I think they learned a lot from last year and will probably sit within the top eight this year. Again depth may be an issue, however if Chrisboy show’s as much dedication to his on-field performances as he does his Ulti-Talking, these guys could be in for a medal. I hope to see more from them on the dancefloor though. And less piping from Ellie Sparke.
Monash: Well anything I say here won’t be taken seriously, (not that anything I’ve said will be hopefully!) but not many people could say these kids aren’t contenders. Whilst I plan to keep a couple of things on the down low, the list speaks for itself. Worlds players, NUFL players, nationals players. The team has depth, question is, does it have a superstar? Does it need one? The long game will be interesting with Barr, Josh Cukierman and Chris Folkes taking shots at Steve Thomas, Cleetus, Michelle Rogers and Lucy Ross. Grace Gard is also one to watch out for, as she’s very hard to play D against, however on the Frisbee field she’s fine.
AU: Don’t know much about this team, but a couple of things I do know are: BJ is a good kid, he’ll keep them together, Louisa Battista is the youngest looking little alco I know, and Karen Palmer is HOT! That is all.
Wait, She’s so, so hot.
Macquarie: Playing their cards close to their chest on the AFDA site, this once powerhouse team has gone the way of pokemon and porn sites that you have to pay for, and fallen by the wayside. And, much the same as the first two, nobody seemed to care. I hope they put in a solid show. Who knows, the Dowles may enrol for their 4th post-grad course and revive the once mighty club.
QUT: Is this the club Jangles is Coaching? Farkn Hell.
ANU: Quite a fresh looking team on the afda list. Out with the old of Tom Walcott and Watson, and in with what has been dubbed the biggest signing coup since Karmichael Hunt’s defection to AFL. Andrew Jackson is not a household ultimate name yet, however those who saw him play for Fyshwick in the AUC09 championships sat up and took notice of this kid, who looks fresh out of a Beastie Boys music video. Rumour has it that before he was signed to ANU he was Bear Grylls’ stunt double. True Story. Usain Bolt should consider himself lucky this guy didn’t take up running. A couple of steady hands, including Andrew Sutton, will mean these guys will have a good tourney. They probably won’t be top eight, but they won’t get pumped by any teams.
UWS: Refer to Griffith
UNSW: The fresh nature of this team is once again testament to the theory that the centre of ultimate in the uni scene has moved from the east to the south. This team has one name I recognise in Alex Allen, and probably a couple of others I’d know if I saw, however I’m unsure these guys will bother the score keepers. Alternatively, these names could be all American imports and completely romp the tournament. Although I doubt it. One thing I am interested in though is the name Silin Garfield. Silin shares the same last name as Abra and Shua Garfield. Also shares the fact she has a weird first name. I wonder if they’re related.
Mutation (Dumb name for Melbourne Uni): OH HOW ART THE MIGHTY FALLEN!! I must admit I’ve been looking forward to getting to this point in the rundown. For those not familiar with the southern university scene, Melbourne University were the benchmark for uni ultimate. Now not so much. Look, these guys are still a decent team. I just had to get that out because it’s so satisfying. It seems Barramundy Chris Freise has taken a shining to his former teammate Al Don’s penchant for “huck for territory” ultimate and will be getting his team fit through lots of D. Watch for Jude Mitchell and new boy toy Tim Horden playing Flinders’ Black Mamba….. Should be fireworks!! Firetail Michelle Phillips apparently loves it if you tell her she’s cheating to win. Try it.
Vic Wildcats (NZ): Word on the street is that this team is big on beer bongs, using a bukett and a huuse bru. Nobody knows much about this team so they could be quite deceptiivve. Nah look all jokes aside the fact that these guys are making the trip just goes to show this mob aren’t exactly sheepish.
Vic Uni: First time caller. We’ve all been there. Points for trying. My pick for Spirit.